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Complex Political Issues in 400 Words or Less, Part II

In this piece, I make an unfocused and haphazard argument for amnesty and open immigration (although, since all my political writing is unfocused and haphazard, that's kind of redundant).

The Case for Amnesty (9/8/07)

I noticed while watching last week’s Republican debate that despite the subtle differences between the various candidates’ positions on immigration, they all seemed to hold the unspoken notion that amnesty would be a catastrophically terrible policy. As John McCain noted matter-of-factly, “No one, by the way, is for amnesty;” I have just one question: why not?

One can make both moral and practical arguments in favor of amnesty and a free flow of immigration. Our current policy does little to stop the flow of immigrants; in reality, it only serves to create a permanent underclass of migrant workers who are forced to accept Third World conditions and wages within our nation. This both lowers America’s overall quality of life and transports the social and economic problems of the immigrants’ original countries to many of our own agricultural and industrial communities. Furthermore, history shows us that attempts to stifle immigrant groups, from the Germans and Irish to the Poles and Italians, have been unsuccessful, unnecessary and fueled by racism; in fifty years, we’ll probably be hearing naturalized Americans of Mexican and Central American descent make the same complaints about waves of immigrants from some other nation (say, Iraq) that German/Irish/Italian/Polish Americans make against them today.

From a more practical standpoint, keeping the estimated 12 million illegal immigrants currently in the US here and working is a significant benefit to our economy. For instance, full amnesty would suddenly lead to millions more wage earners paying appropriate income and payroll taxes; many illegal workers already pay into Social Security without any hope of seeing the money upon retirement, which is distressing in its own way. Also, one of the most respected pro-market think tanks, the CATO institute, regularly asserts that waves of unskilled immigrants do not “steal” native workers’ jobs or reduce overall wages among citizens, but in fact play an essential role in our economy. One would think that so-called pro-business Republicans would take the side of some of the nation’s brightest pro-market experts, as well as the multitude of business owners who rely on immigrant labor to remain competitive.

So, regardless of your views on immigration, don’t follow the example of most politicians and reject amnesty out of hand. And don’t believe old man McCain when he tells you that “no one is for amnesty.”

On Cyclic De-Apathization

I'd like to note that it really depresses me when human rights abuses in certain countries appear in the news for a short time (usually once a year), invoke the empathy of readers, sometimes lead to condemnations from world leaders, then disappear from the headlines and peoples' minds two weeks later. This is currently happening in the case of Myanmar, the South Asian state that's been suffering under the yoke of a military junta for ages (Belarus is another common example of the phenomenon). Right now, angry dissidents led by large numbers of Buddhist monks are protesting the government, and the whole world has taken notice, just as they took notice all the other times they sat idly by and watched previous groups of monks get beaten.

I'm not trying to be callous about the plight of Burmese; it just makes me sad when I look at groups of Westerners getting engaged in the issue and know that most of them will stop giving two shits about the situation once the protests are (probably) quashed. As much as I hate the concept of nation building, perhaps it's time to support Burmese dissidents with rifles instead of words; we have a post-Cold War stigma in America about propping up insurgents, but I think the results may be better when we support actual democratically-minded groups instead of whatever brute hates the Ruskies. But that's probably just my youthful naivete creeping in.

Complex Political Issues in 400 Words or Less, Part I

Sometimes, I get to write tiny columns for my campus newspaper. In order to fill this space, I'm posting them here. BE AMAZED as I try to assess current events and social issues in 1/10 of a tabloid page! STAND IN AWE as I use such space limitations to completely ignore the facets of my arguments that are utterly indefensible!


Bush’s Last Stand (8/27/07)

In a couple of weeks we’ll hear Gen. Petraeus, commander of US troops in Iraq, give a much-anticipated report to Congress on the state of the Iraq war and the successes/failures of the Bush administration’s “troop surge.” One would think that with Democratic majorities in Congress, public opinion shifting steadily against the war, and prominent Republicans such as Senators Chuck Hagel and John Warner calling for a withdrawal of American troops, this major re-assessment of our presence in the country will mark the beginning of the end of US military involvement in Iraq. However, the White House has already begun what will likely become a last stand in the battle to prolong the war.

The Administration is utilizing now-familiar strategies to convince Congress and the American public to “wait a little longer, there’ll be progress by next time, I swear.” At a VFW convention in Kansas, Bush used a classic equivocation of the current war with more popular wars in US history such as World War II to stress the importance of not “retreating;” he even brought in the ever-taboo Vietnam War, claiming that the conflict would have been a great success if only we’d given that “surge” more time (hopefully, he won’t propose a Middle Eastern version of bombing Cambodia). The Administration has also used the fact that the report will be given by Gen. Petraeus instead of a White House official to argue that it merely follows the words of the commanders on the ground without concern for political implications; in reality, though, the report is being written by the White House based on “input” from commanders, leaving Petraeus to simply read what Bush submits to him. And as a final touch, the report to Congress is scheduled for September 11; the Administration claims the timing was coincidental, but I’m sure I’m not alone in suspecting another attempt by the White House to exploit that tragic event and link it to the unrelated Iraqi campaign.

But whoever wins this final battle over the future of American troops in Iraq, the true losers will be the Iraqi people, who will probably spend the coming years in a semi-anarchic state of sectarian slaughter regardless of whether US forces leave their country. Hopefully, we won’t hear some president in thirty years defend a failed occupation by pointing to the “Iraq example,” but unfortunately, history has a habit of becoming skewed, as Bush’s views on Vietnam show us.


Little did I know at the time that, rather than make any meaningful decisions regarding Iraq, Congress would waste everyone's time by passing resolutions about a fucking rhyming pun in the New York Times. I hope MoveOn.org learned a lesson about accusing generals who bend to the will of political leaders instead of giving honest military assessments of betraying their forces!

A Forty on the Curb for Chuck Hagel

Reports are coming in that Chuck Hagel, by far my favorite Republican Senator currently in office, will not be making a much-speculated presidential run, nor will he run for re-election to his current position. A Vietnam infantry veteran, Hagel broke into the national headlines a couple of years ago for his blunt criticism of the Iraq War, long before it became politically convenient for Republicans to do so. He also notably broke party ranks for his relatively sane views on immigration, and is generally a sincere and extremely well-spoken figure. His name has been tossed around along with Michael Bloomberg as a potential Independent presidential ticket; sadly, it looks like neither of them are interested at this point. Hagel was even part of my inspiration in becoming a Nebraska Admiral, a post which he too holds.

So here's to you, Chuck. You'll certainly be missed.

Ron Paul is Nothing New, Please Shut the Fuck Up About Him

The 2008 US presidential field is filled with duds and shitheels, but none get me as riled up as fringe Republican candidate Ron Paul. It's not just his asinine policies, inconsistent voting record and archaic 19th century worldview; it's also the fact that his hordes of internet followers have been collectively creaming their pants over him for the past 5 months now. It's admittedly refreshing to see an anti-war Republican on the stage, but that doesn't justify the cult of personality being built around him, especially when you factor in the fact that he wants to return to the gold standard and phase out public education. Just Google Ron Paul and you'll find a wealth of bizarre, Stalinist devotion, often manifested in hilariously stupid images such as the one above.

The worst offenders of Ron Paul mania are the masses of 19-year-old, bright-eyed idealists who think that his ideas are new, revolutionary, and would work great if only someone would put them into practice. The obvious punchline is that the US was operating under Paul's libertarian paradise for basically the first half of its history. And guess what: the food and drug companies didn't self-regulate in the absence of the FDA (in fact, they were dumping snake oil and arsenic into their goods with impunity), the gold standard wasn't inflation-proof (Oh how I long to return to constant and wild spasms of inflation and deflation), and a lack of public schools left much of the population too illiterate to perform most of today's jobs.

So here's my simple plea to you, you noble captains of the good ship RONPAUL: keep your beautiful dreams of pulling out of Unicef and abolishing the CIA to yourselves instead of spewing your nonsense and peddling your shit candidate on Youtube and Digg comments (Lord knows those outlets already have more than enough retarded in them). Thanks in advance.

I Have Been BLOGGING

The creation of this blog was a necessary side effect of posting in another one; as a consequence, it will likely never be seen by anyone other than myself. However, I may decide to use this space to post my unique brand of whiny liberal college student beliefs for the sake of posterity. As an added bonus, I'll now be able to note in my memoirs that I was, indeed, a member of the Blogosphere.